Kin Vow host guide
An imperfect union. A promise to each other.
Adult pilot edition, version 0.2 | October 31, 2026
Kin Vow is a project in development and a working name pending rights review. This is a proposed operating guide. No gathering, host appointment, venue, or feedback contact has been arranged. No host organization or official chapter is confirmed.
What a Kin Table does
A Kin Table gives 8-12 adult participants, with a target of 12, a place to practice listening and follow-through. Two hosts share the work in addition to those participants. Listening can be enough. Keeping an existing promise or respecting a boundary counts, and no new commitment is required. Participants can disagree, pass, take breaks, and leave. The vow is optional; meeting conduct rules apply to everyone.
Use the founding charter for the vow and conduct standards. Have the participant sheet available in print and a readable digital format. This pilot is for adults aged 18 or older; a youth program would need its own design and preparation.
Before the first gathering
- Choose two hosts and one willing, uninvolved person to receive concerns about hosts and review contested decisions. These are roles to fill, not existing appointments. If nobody can provide independent review, postpone the gathering.
- Use an accessible room with clear exits, a nearby restroom, and a quieter place for breaks. Ask about access needs without asking for a diagnosis. Offer seating choices, large text on request, and written as well as spoken participation. Confirm what the actual venue can provide before describing it publicly.
- Prepare a clock, the participant sheet, blank feedback slips, pens, and an envelope or box. Avoid a new app or account requirement.
- Agree on the incident process below. Rehearse an interruption, a request to leave, and a concern involving a host. Assign one host to the conversation and the other to time, access needs, and private check-ins.
- Complete the feedback notice with real, agreed contacts. Test the chosen contact route. Give the independent reviewer access to it without routing host complaints through the host involved.
- Establish the event date, venue permission, any cost limit, and who may authorize expenses. Check requirements that apply to the actual venue and activity. This guide makes no legal-compliance claim.
- Confirm who is responsible for the pilot's agreements, money, participant information, and conduct decisions. If an organization will host the pilot, agree on those responsibilities and its authority in writing before opening. Venue use or cooperation alone does not make that organization a fiscal sponsor or insurer.
- Check the actual activity, venue, and operating arrangement with the responsible parties. Resolve required permissions, insurance arrangements, access needs, funding, and a spending ceiling before opening. This guide does not establish coverage, a partner agreement, or an approved funding source.
Do not open the pilot until these arrangements are usable. Postpone if hosts, independent review, venue permission and access, feedback routes, finances, or the operating arrangement remain unresolved.
Use an open invitation through ordinary community channels only after public use of the name and outreach are authorized. Describe the activity and its boundaries plainly. Avoid ideological quotas, pressure through employers, or invitations that ask someone to represent a whole group.
Read at the start
“Welcome. We are here to practice listening and follow-through. Listening can be enough; no new promise is required. You can keep your convictions, pass on any prompt, or leave. Taking the vow is optional. Please share the time and speak from your own experience. You may criticize ideas and conduct; threats, harassment, and personal humiliation are not acceptable. We are not recording or taking photos. Please do not repeat anyone else's story or contact details outside this gathering. We will show you how to raise a concern privately, including a concern about a host.”
Explain that hosts limit access to private concerns but cannot guarantee secrecy. They may need to share relevant information with the reviewer or obtain help for an immediate safety concern. Explain proposed sharing to the person reporting when possible. Participants cannot be promised that everyone else will honor the privacy request.
First Kin Table: 75 minutes
| Time | Activity | Host instructions |
|---|---|---|
| 0–10 | Welcome and boundaries | Read the opening. Introduce hosts and the feedback route. Invite access requests privately. People may offer a first name or chosen name; no identity check or personal introduction is required. |
| 10–20 | Meet the vow | Read the six sentences once. Ask, “Which line would be useful in ordinary life?” Allow passing or a written response. Do not ask people to stand, sign, or pledge together. |
| 20–40 | Paired listening | Form pairs by consent. Allow solo reflection. Each person gets two minutes to speak, two minutes for the listener to reflect back, and one minute to correct or add. Switch roles, then allow ten minutes to discuss the experience or pause. |
| 40–60 | Consider something useful | Ask whether participants or the venue want help with a modest task. A shared task depends on need, permission, capacity, and participant interest. Choose one only if willing volunteers can manage it without an unapproved expense or outside commitment. Choosing no task is valid. |
| 60–70 | Choose a next step, if wanted | Invite each willing person to keep a private note about listening, an existing promise, useful help, or a boundary. A time to revisit it is optional. No new commitment or sharing aloud is required. Confirm any shared-task owner and permission needed. |
| 70–75 | Private feedback and close | Offer the short feedback form. Announce the next proposed meeting date if arranged. Remind people that later contact requires consent. |
Listening prompt: “What would you like me to understand about what life is like for you right now?” A lighter option is, “What has made an ordinary day easier for you lately?” Listeners ask, “Have I understood you?” They offer advice only if invited.
A possible shared task is making an existing community noticeboard easier to use, if the venue and its users want that help. The task must follow actual needs and permission. Avoid promising services on someone else's behalf.
Between gatherings
Offer the invitation One conversation. One kept commitment. These are related habits to try at a manageable pace. A conversation creates no debt and requires no new promise. Listening alone, a routine check-in, keeping an existing promise, or respecting a boundary counts. Nobody reports private conversations to the group. Participants may describe their own follow-through without identifying someone else.
For later tables, keep the opening and feedback time. Use the middle portion to discuss what people tried, what happened, and what should change. If a shared task was chosen, ask whether it helped its intended users or needs to change. When a promise cannot be kept, encourage honest acknowledgment and a realistic revision with the person affected. That person need not agree to a replacement promise or forgive the missed one.
A 90-day pilot
These are proposed planning choices, not tested requirements. Four gatherings fall roughly three weeks apart within a 90-day preparation and review period. Preparation may take longer; no launch date is fixed.
| Period | Work |
|---|---|
| Days 1-14 | Fill the two host roles and independent reviewer role; rehearse; confirm the operating arrangement, venue, access, finances, and feedback routes. Plan for 8-12 participants, with a target of 12, plus two hosts. |
| Days 15-21 | Hold the first 75-minute table. Explain voluntary evaluation and the between-meeting invitation. |
| Days 35-42 | Hold table two. Invite reflection on listening or follow-through. If a shared task was chosen, decide whether it remains wanted and feasible. |
| Days 56-63 | Hold table three. Review, revise, or stop any shared task; completion is not guaranteed. Ask potential future hosts whether the role interests them without assigning it. |
| Days 77-84 | Hold table four. Gather final feedback and participants' views on continuing. |
| Days 85-90 | Review the evaluation and host workload. Decide to repeat, revise, or stop. Resolve open conduct concerns before expanding. |
| After day 90 | Prepare the internal account described in the evaluation plan. Review separately before sharing it outside the pilot. |
Plan for about four combined organizer hours per week plus gathering time, then record actual time. This is a starting allowance, not a demonstrated workload. The budget proposal uses the 12-participant scenario plus two hosts. Set a cost cap before incurring expenses. A free venue and simple supplies may reduce costs; they do not replace the readiness conditions above.
If the pilot supports continuation, a willing pair can cohost another cohort with an experienced host. Test delivery by people other than the founder before considering expansion. Require supported practice before authorizing an independent group. National recognition, complaints, and name-use arrangements need to exist before any group calls itself an official chapter. A small pilot cannot establish national effectiveness.
When conduct crosses a boundary
- Interrupt the specific behavior. Say, “I am stopping this because you continued a personal insult after being asked to stop. You can discuss the policy without insulting a person.” Avoid treating anger, an unpopular view, or a complaint about discrimination as misconduct by itself.
- Check immediate needs. Offer space or a break. Stop the gathering if needed. Seek urgent help when there is immediate danger; do not require mediation first.
- Choose a proportionate response. A reminder may be enough for a correctable lapse. Serious or repeated misconduct can require removal or a pause on future attendance. Hosts may act immediately to protect participants, then review the decision.
- Hear accounts privately. Ask what happened, what the person needs now, and what contact they do or do not want. Do not demand personal testimony in front of the group. Explain what information would need to be shared to consider a response.
- Record only what is necessary. Use a brief factual account, relevant dates, the response, and any agreed follow-up. Keep it separate from evaluation. Limit access to those handling the concern. Do not place allegations in group chats or ask another AI service to analyze them.
- Use the independent reviewer when a host is involved or a decision is contested. The reviewer should explain the decision and reasons to affected people, with other people's private details omitted. If there is a conflict of interest, find another uninvolved reviewer before a final decision.
- Offer repair without pressure. Ask the affected person whether any repair is wanted. Respect no-contact requests. Nobody owes an apology's acceptance, reconciliation, or continued participation. Check whether the behavior changed.
Give the person whose conduct is questioned a clear description and a chance to respond when safe. A response may be limited by anonymous reporting or missing information; explain that limit without dismissing the concern. Prevent retaliation. If hosts lack the capacity to address a serious concern, pause participation or the pilot and seek appropriate outside guidance.
Feedback notice to complete before use
Fill every line with an agreed person or route before distributing this notice. Offer both a non-digital method and a method available after the event. A contact channel should reach only the designated recipients.
KIN VOW PILOT: FEEDBACK AND CONCERNS
At this gathering, speak privately with either host.
Hosts and how to find them:
____________________________________________________________
Paper feedback can be left here:
____________________________________________________________
After the gathering, use this contact route:
____________________________________________________________
For a concern about a host or a review of a decision, contact:
____________________________________________________________
If you need a different format or help using these routes:
____________________________________________________________
You can leave your name off. To receive a reply, provide a contact
method you choose. Please describe only what is needed to explain
the concern and what you would like to happen next.
We aim to acknowledge contactable reports within two working days
and give an update within seven. We will say if more time is needed.
This channel is not continuously monitored. For an immediate concern
at a gathering, tell a host directly. Seek urgent help for danger.
We limit who sees reports, but cannot guarantee secrecy. We will
explain necessary sharing when possible. A report about a host goes
to the uninvolved reviewer. Anonymous reports may limit follow-up.
Retaliation for raising a concern is not acceptable.
The response times are proposed service targets. Hosts and the reviewer must confirm that they can meet them before opening the pilot. Do not circulate an incomplete notice.